Saturday, October 18, 2008

Thoughts of The Week

Think! Maybe It Is for the Best

Remember when you were very young and loved to play in the kitchen with all the gadgets? Very likely, your mother would let you play with some things but not with others. Years passed and when you got older you wanted to try different things and go many places. Perhaps your parents let you try some but disapproved of others. At such times, you would feel frustrated and even angry that you failed to get what you wanted.

Now you are facing life on your own. Your parents have done their job and raised you, protected you and taught you as much as they could. Now you are on your own – just you and your Creator.

Are you still frustrated and angry when you do not get what you want from life?

Imagine what would have happened if your parents had let you play with sharp utensils and remember how you stomped and pouted when they took them away! Imagine what would have happened if your parents let you mix with that gang of kids and remember how most of them later ended up in trouble with the police!

Our parents love and care for us and they took dangerous things away from us and they loved us enough not to care how angry we were with them. It is also important to keep in mind that Almighty Allah loves us more than our parents do. In life He takes some things away from us because they are harmful – even if we do not understand the nature of that harm.

This is similar to when we have our immunization shots to prevent illness. In life we undergo many challenges to strengthen our inner selves so we will be prepared for whatever comes across our path.

Almighty Allah wants us to turn to Him for help, guidance, forgiveness and support. Out of His wisdom, Almighty Allah leaves us free to make decisions and explore life but He is there when we call on Him and turn to Him sincerely seeking His pleasure. Almighty Allah knows we will make mistakes and He sends us people and situations to test us and to help us learn. Sometimes, He the Almighty takes things from us but if we are patient and trust in Him, He gives us something better.

Almighty Allah says: “…it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing that is bad for you. Almighty Allah knows but you do not know.” (Al-Baqarah 2:216) 

Al-Hasan al-Basri said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.” 

Almighty Allah tells us many times in the Qur’an that He is the most merciful, the most compassionate. Everything in this universe was created with love and compassion and if we keep this in mind as we steer the course of our life, we will see His signs all around us.

Therefore, we must have faith in Almighty Allah and trust in Him. Even though sometimes we may not understand the reason behind certain things that happen, we should be sure that as long as we seek to obey Him, whatever happens will be for our betterment.

May be now, instead of the kitchen gadgets, we might be after a car, a house or a better job. Only Almighty Allah knows if those things are good for us and if they will lead us on the straight path and be beneficial for us. So if He chooses not to grant us these things, we should trust in Him and say ‘Allah knows best’.

Perhaps we have to face sickness or some kind of calamity and surely this is not easy. Remember that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“There is nothing that befalls a believer, not even a thorn that pricks him, but Allah will record one good deed for him and will remove one bad deed from him.” (Muslim)

Can you imagine that you would leave this world without bearing any sin? Well, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Trials will continue to befall the believing man and woman, with regard to themselves, their children and their wealth, until they meet Allah with no sin on them.” (At-Tirmidhi)

The great scholar, Ibn Taymiyah said: “A calamity that makes you turn to Allah is better for you than a blessing which makes you forget the remembrance of Allah.”

So, our success in this life and the next depends on how we react to what happens to us. The most important thing we have to learn is to trust in Almighty Allah. We must be sure that along with the hardship and troubles, He gives us His mercy, help and support. Everything in life has meaning and every lesson we learn can bring us closer to Almighty Allah and all the peace of mind and insight which that entails.

Almighty Allah says in a hadith qudsi: “I am as My slave thinks of Me and I am with him whenever he remembers Me.” (Agreed Upon).

If we fall short and only focus on the hardship and fail to pay attention to the lessons, then we may undergo that hardship without really gaining anything from it. No matter how much we might have to go through, there are always countless things to be grateful for. Sometimes the test is to recognize the blessings and be grateful.

Our minds are limited and as human beings we are incapable of perceiving the wisdom of Almighty Allah and His infinite mercy.

“And when someone puts all his trust in Allah, He will be enough for him.” (At-Talaq 65: 3)

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If you put your trust completely in Almighty Allah, He will arrange for your sustenance in the same way as He provides for the birds. They go out in the morning with their stomachs empty and return filled in the evening.” (At-Tirmidhi)

So trust Almighty Allah! There is great reward for those who learn to do that. Hardship can be a sign of Almighty Allah's love for a person. Difficulty can be like medicine: even though it is bitter, in spite of its bitterness you still give it to the one whom you love.

“The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Almighty Allah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His displeasure.” (At-Tirmidhi)

Monday, October 13, 2008

The Thought of the week

Respecting People's Identities

By  Altaf Husain

Social Worker — USA

 
Image
There is just no way around it. If you want people to respect you, you must respect them.

Of course, this is much easier said than done, when real people and real feelings are involved. Why should it be so difficult? What causes us to want to disrespect someone? To mistreat them based on certain physical characteristics? To harass them because they hold different cultural and religious views than we do? To taunt them because we think we are better than they are? To abuse them verbally or physically? To curse them?

What good can come of such behavior? How productive can such an outlook be? Why would anyone want to knowingly impact their spiritual and physical health so negatively? Can you imagine being on the receiving end of such negativity? Life would be so dismal. You would run the other way if you saw such a person walking in your direction.

You would want to make du`aa' (Arabic for: supplication) to Almighty Allah to help such person guard their tongue, their hands, and their legs. Ironically enough, such people do not even respect themselves, let alone respect others.

However, there is just no way around it; if you want people to respect you, you have to first respect yourself and then learn to appreciate and respect others.

Respecting Oneself

As a Muslim youth, it is incumbent upon you to know that as long as you are in line with the teachings of Islam, you are counted among the believers, those whom Almighty Allah has honored and who are worthy of the respect of others by virtue of their righteous conduct and of being of service to their family and community.

As a young person, you might be dealing with the concept of respect for yourself in a few ways:

1. You might not have given much thought to the idea of having respect for yourself;

2. You might respect yourself but are having trouble getting others to respect you;

3. You might be arrogant about who you are and are confusing that arrogance and pride with respecting yourself;

4. You might have come to the premature conclusion that you are not worthy of respect.

Which option applies to you? Do more than one option apply to you? None of them? The ideal situation is, of course, that you are confident as being a Muslim and as having whatever additional identities based on race, ethnicity, or nationality.

A sense of confidence comes from knowing what defines who you are. In the case of Muslims, our identity stems first from our accepting that Almighty Allah is our Lord and that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is Allah's last and final messenger, and second from fulfilling our duties to Almighty Allah, to our parents, our family and our community.

Islam is your religion, your way of life, because Almighty Allah has chosen this religion for you. He tells us in the Qur'an, (This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion) (Al-Ma'idah 5:3).

You were selected by Almighty Allah much like every single newborn is destined by Almighty Allah to be a Muslim. The beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) told us, in a hadith narrated by Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him), "No child is born except on Al-Fitrah [i.e. Islam] and then his parents make him or her Jewish, Christian, or Magian" (Al-Bukhari).

There is, therefore, so much that you have to be proud of when you say that you are a Muslim, because after all, you are from among the over-one-billion people around the world who willingly submit themselves to Almighty Allah.

You also respect yourself because as a Muslim who has a strong relationship with Almighty Allah. You can wake up every morning and face yourself in the mirror without guilt and shame for the kind of life you are living.

Respecting Others

Regrettably, some young people end up becoming confused in the process of affirming their sense of pride and self-respect. Instead of being content with who they are and striving to be better, they become inclined toward disrespecting others and trying to negate their existence.

This is a conduct and outlook unworthy of a Muslim. It does not matter whether the person being disrespected is Muslim or not, disrespecting others is just not acceptable. Youth of all backgrounds attempt to define themselves by highlighting or by suppressing certain parts of their identity. Simply because you are unfamiliar or uncomfortable with the particular aspect they might be highlighting, you are not in any way entitled to ridicule them or to disrespect them.

Doing so goes against the tradition of Prophet Muhammad, which we are ordered to follow, and ends up impacting you and the other person negatively. Every time you disrespect someone, you gain an ounce of negativity and lose an ounce of respect for yourself. You end up marginalizing that other person and potentially causing him or her emotional pain and sadness.

In a hadith narrated by `Abdullah bin `Amr (may Allah be pleased with him), we learn that "Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) neither talked in an insulting manner nor did he ever speak evil intentionally. He used to say, 'The most beloved to me among you is the one who has the best character and manners'" (Al-Bukhari).

This indicates clearly that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did not distinguish, in general terms, between those who were Muslim and those who were not Muslim in terms of the manner in which he treated them.

Clearly, there will be people with whom you are just not clicking or whose personalities rub you the wrong way and even people whose behavior is considered outright sinful.

No matter what the circumstance, no matter how much you disagree with someone or whose views, even religious, are different than your own, you should try first to put yourself in their shoes and understand why they are who they are or why they believe what they believe. Doing so never means you have to accept their views or to even agree with them.

However, you do owe the other person a certain level of respect as a fellow human being. If you truly believe that person is misguided in his or her beliefs or that he or she are in need of help, you can and should, of course, make du`aa' to Almighty Allah to guide them, but you cannot and should not judge them.

It is not our decision; rather, it is Almighty Allah Who decides the fate of all of us, Muslim or not. Should you advise people? Of course, you should but do so in the Qur'anic tradition with wisdom and in a beautiful manner.

Final Thoughts

How do you get along with others?

In general, if you have few challenges in dealing with other people, then you are already familiar with the basic etiquette of respecting people for who they are. The problem often arises when we start to be too sure of our identity, too proud of who we are, and adopt an air of superiority.

That is a slippery slope and often ends with us viewing everyone else as unworthy of respect because, well, "they are not like us and they should be!"

If you choose to disrespect others, be prepared to deal with the mutual negativity that is bound to exist. Turn the situation around by reminding yourself that everyone is created by Almighty Allah and worthy at of respect at the most basic level as a fellow human being.

Ultimately, if you respect others, they will most often respect you back!


http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?c=Article_C&cid=1221720633077&pagename=Zone-English-Youth/YTELayout